What does a promise mean to you?
- To tell someone you will do something. 2. To be accountable in your words and actions. Promises hold such a high stake in the lives we value with friends, family and business partners. Once the promise has been broken where does the value in relationship stand. Does promises shape and mold how we handle each other with things in the future, and does it shape how we encounter new relationships? Three pointers I would like to share about promises and how it uplifts and tears down relationships.
How often are promises broken when you trust those with information and or completing a task? When you ask someone to do something and they agree you feel there is an understanding, trust and they value what you may need. It is not always about wha you can do for the person but also how a person makes you feel should you need them. Here are some ways people value you
* make you feel special
*attend an event with you
*share various perspectives for a brighter outcome
*take them out their comfort zone to make you comfortable
*they listen to understand
*they are generous with time
Promises is a form of respect stating and showing good intentions one is an essential part of his or her life.
Dealing with past
One of the hardest part of healing is dealing with the issue(s) that broke you. Not taking ownership of the pain one has caused like breaking a promise, for instance, “I understand the hurt, but not ready to deal with pain it may bring.” Pain is harder when it is not acknowledged. Forgiveness is taught at an early age, but if you have never had to take responsibility for the actions one has caused it becomes an entitlement. For example, “this is who I am accept it or leave,” that type of pain shuffles into, “hurt people hurt people.” Also, many don’t believe in therapy to release issues and repair what has been broken thus using other ways to cope. Many addictions come from incomplete healing from trauma that is held inside. Trauma causes one to make decision with out thinking of the affects and connections within those affects. Many won’t own it, especially when you have to bring the people that you hurt into the equation to fully heal. Just saying, “I’m sorry” is surface level and only puts and band-aid on the problem that still sits underneath. It is not until we get the root of the problem is when one can fully heal.
So how do you move forward? Unfortunately, you can’t always get closure, an apology or an opportunity to let that person know what they did and that is reality.
You can give oneself time-time to evaluate you as a person, make your healing about you and offer love to others, so more love flows back to you in return.
Write a letter to say everything you need to say get it all out and then delete it. Be done and know that whatever painful experience can be healed with every living breath you take so can restore peace within you.
Love yourself and those that love you. Surround yourself with people who will love and support you during those difficult times. Those are the people that show promise today, tomorrow and a lifetime.
Promises are meant to show a sign of trust, commitment and support. Allow those people that promise to be there, be there, and remember to show promise as well because we all need love and understanding.
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